Junkai's blog (:

2010-08-08T06:27:00.001-07:00

I'm not angry, i'm just rather confused in what i really want. Its that i'm angry or anything. Dont take this the wrong way, but i sorta feel that we kinda not really compatable :X

2010-07-30T09:10:00.000-07:00

I'm not a genius. i dont know everything. Tell me where i have gone wrong. Don't tell me how will i know...

Sorry Dear!

2010-06-18T09:07:00.000-07:00

To my dear lub lub! sorry that even though i promised to not make u sad or cry, i somehow still made u cry ): i'm so sorryyyyyy!!! I hope you'll forgive me, and i hope that we will grow to know and understand each other more (: And of course i sincerely hope that our love will grow stronger! I promise to love u my whole life, and i hope u do too (:

Sorry!

2010-05-25T05:54:00.000-07:00

My dear zhu zhu, i'm sorry i said those words. Pls forgive me. i wasnt thinking clearly then. i know u were hurt once and am afraid to get hurt agn, thats why u act like that. But i promise u i will love you all my life and will do my utmost best not to hurt u. I'm really really sorry!!!! Beat me and scold me all you want, just forgive me ):

Thank God! :D

2010-05-16T07:46:00.000-07:00

YAY! :D Thank God for everything! Now i feel that everything is for the better. Thank God for whatever has happened. I've realised that he was actually helping me instead of hurting me (:I hope things will progress better from now on :D

So near yet so far

2010-05-12T08:36:00.000-07:00

Today and the days to come will not be as happy as before... It isnt easy to hold back and just be friends... You are so near yet so far.. Each time you are near, i just want to hug you and tell u how much i love u, but i cant with the way things are now... ): I only hope i will be able to endure this! I must!! :X

STUPID STUPID STUPID!

2010-05-11T19:25:00.000-07:00

Things seem different now... because of one stupid act i did, everything has changed... For better or for worse, i do not know.. will just have to leave it to God. I guess i have to hold back if thats what u want. Though it wont be easy, i'll do it if that's what it takes for us to be tgt (: The road will be tough, but i believe i can pull through it, leaning not on my own strengh, but on God and my friends.

A beautiful night!

2010-05-06T09:58:00.000-07:00

Tonight an unexpected thing happened. Shall not disclose in detail, but i'll just explain my feelings :D

Something happened to me for the first time tonight, and i've never felt anything like it before. I felt totally overwhelmed by a warm feeling, a feeling i've always longed for... I guess you could call it love! <3

And to me, Love is just a word till someone you meet gives it a meaning. And i never thought it would happen to me, but it did, and it truly is a magnificent and wonderful feeling! :D

If you love someone, you give everything you can and don't expect to receive anything in return. Even if it is just looking at you, i feel happy knowing that you are there! (:

sadded...

2010-05-05T01:29:00.000-07:00

The past 2 days have been very sian. i duno why also...

I've come to realise that my feelings for u are true, and that i would give my life for u. So i hope that we will make it through and it will last forever (: <3

PS: i want u to be my first and last! <3

Sucky tuesday...

2010-05-03T18:32:00.000-07:00

Today i think is gna be damn sian... found out smth ytd night that i dont like, but cant really do anything abt it.. What to do, i'm worried abt u. Plus today wont get to see u as muuch ): MISSSS U AHHHHH!!!

I LOVE THIS WEEK!

2010-05-02T07:50:00.000-07:00

This has been a really great week! is all i can say :D something wonderful yet surprising happened! and i'm really happy! :D canot stop smiling lah! always missing (someone) after i go home :P

New year.

2010-04-28T02:32:00.000-07:00

Hey all, its been a long time since i last blogged... this has been a great year so far. With all the new happenings in school, 3DO, IG etc... and made many new friends! (:

(TO a certain someone)- As time passes feelings grow stronger, so i pray that my feelings will never falter. And though you have not much confidence right now, i hope that u will come to realise that my feelings are true and i'm confident that it wont change! Though there is no 100% guarantee that you will read this, or whatever i'm doing may reach you, i hope that someday it will, and i just want you to know that i never regretted doing any of those things, nor will i come to regret in the future (:

F-uped life...

2009-08-18T05:15:00.000-07:00

yet another bad day... i really wonder why recently there are so many bad days.... Really feel like shouting out tons of %*#$&^ but... *SIGHS*.... today my mood was totally ruined because of a few reasons.... 1stly, my %*#$ing Flu came back..... cb keep sneezing the whole day... damn dulan... 2ndly, today i was supposed to go repair my laptop, but it costs $1000++!!!! Repair wad shit liddat....!! 3rdly, i've tried asking *frens* to accompany me to go repair my laptop today, but apparently everyone is too busy for that...(ok they need to study and i'm being abit selfish here, but still...). and once again, i've realised how little frens i have... or none even.... and seriously lah, people come and show that they care and sympathize with me, please dun just do it because u sympathize with me and go back to the usual after awhile... it &(%ing hurts each time u know... 4thly, i've come to realise that no one in my family understands me or for that matter anyone... My father... only knows how to pay lip service... whatever he promises he never keeps.... and as i've been in a bad mood recently, he keeps doing things that pisses me off... And as for my brother, haiz.... serious attitude problem...(i've been trying not sound super pissed up till now). 1. shows no respect at all... and when i say he doesn't understand me, he really doesn't.... like for example, this just happened, as it has been up till now, i'm in a bad mood, and when ppl are in a bad mood obviously they are moody, and of course when ppl talk to moody ppl the reply is obviously not something friendly... and when i answered him, he just showed some attitude and walked off... seriously WTF! lah... can't even see that i'm in a bad mood still wan show attitude... F him lah!.... as for my mother, lets just say shes gotten alot better since last time : }..

Ok even though i made my family sound so bad, i guess i've got a few bad points about myself also.... recently my father has become very naggy, and i guess its for my own good, but i've been feeling really irritated by him and don't appreciate his concerns... i know its my bad, but i duno why i just cant seem to help it, i get irritated and pissed off easily by him... and i really dun wan that. i know that he cares for me also, but i just dun seem to appreciate it... God help me pls... my temper has shortened recently and i get angry/irritated/moody/pissed off easily... and i really dont like it or want it this way...

sad and depressed...

2009-08-03T07:44:00.000-07:00

sometimes i really feel that i have no friends at all... friends who will really care and share in your joy and sorrow... friends who would come looking for u even if its just a simple lunch, or when they have problems vice versa. But apparently i dun seem to have those. people will say that u can turn to god for comfort, but seriously speaking... u think its that easy? saying is easy... doing is another thing... so much so in our current society... He cant be here with u physically, and thats the thing!

Currently heres a situation. people would help others willingly, and when it comes to me? %*&$ OFF!! and if u have a problem with me, say it straight to my face! dun do things that obviously shows that u have a problem with me...

2009-05-29T22:28:00.000-07:00

Its been awhile since i last blogged. Things have been soooooo busy at sch that i haven't had time to blog man! Now... what to talk about?

Hmm... ok well first of all common test is coming, and i have no idea what to study at all!! Teachers were like..."common test is coming..." , then never tell us to study what!.... Ahh wells....

Anyway, had cell last night. Thank god for the cell, you guys are the closest i have in church (: although our cell hasn't been as close as it was last year, probably cause of tests and exams that are coming up, plus some of us who are still adapting to poly life (which is very deceptive! at first i though was damn slack, in the end no time to go out at all...). But anyway, just thank god for u guys! victor,marcus,shaun,jeremy,jeremy,sng plus the 3 new comers lyndon,kevin and john. I'm sure we'll get to know one another soon enough (:

1 more thing!!! I think i'm gonna rot at home today sia.... though i need to go to east coast to collect my skates!! Becuz of the stupid guy whom i ordered my skates from... tell me that he will pass it to me in sch, in the end ask me go east coast collect... I want to go, but... no one to go with also... sianz ): so i hope that god will give me someone to go with, family also can (: if not i'll really rot at home today... (smelly) =P

School....

2009-05-11T08:34:00.000-07:00

Haven't been blogging lately, cause so busy with school and stuff.... and also been coming back quite late, then too tired to blog le haha...
Well anyway, super tired today! Did my stupid 2DD project work till 3 am on sunday night, and in the end only slept for 3 hours!!! And now!, another 2DD project due 2 weeks later >< sianz... but thank god this time it seems more fun xD. The other one was totally crap!! didnt know how to use the program at all!!!

Seriously tired....

2009-05-05T10:51:00.000-07:00

The past week and this week is seriously very tiring!!! been sleeping quite late and waking up very early...
Anyway... today had volleyball training again, i think i dislocated my shoulder bone abit >< It hurts when i apply weight on my shoulder!! ARGH!!! But the training was okay... Gonna go advanced next week... beginners seriously too boring.. lol. I think this week sure very hectic wan! still got so many assignments havent do.... 2DD Indesign project...hate it!! and the 5 sketches for DWF. But i think i'm gonna get that done soon (: But yea... Super tired!!! I feel like i'm falling asleep everywhere i go... lol. Bleh!

bordded...

2009-05-01T09:07:00.000-07:00

Labour day was just..... Sooo sian sia. Whole day do nothing.... Actually wanted go out de, then last minute canceled.. ahh well... anyway got a new hair cut with highlights =D

tired....

2009-04-28T09:25:00.000-07:00

Today had IS as usual... wake up soo early agn ): tired man!! IS was okay.. cause i was like playing games throughout lesson =P
Anyway, slacked at makan place at IS for like 4hrs ><
Then went for CCA. Supposed to go for muay thai, but end up had to sign up in advance, and sommore every lesson must pay... so in the end dont wan lor... Instead went for volleyball =D It was quite fun! hitting balls with my hands quite pain though =X
But overall it was fun (: Went for dinner with some of them after training at KAP. Macs... slacked around for 1/2 hr after that waiting for my dad to pick me up! Thank God i had free transportation home! Super tired.... =p
Sooo anyway thats all for today... tiring day, but it was quite okay... (:

First week of school!

2009-04-24T10:18:00.000-07:00

Today was a good day cause i'm finally able to sleep more than 6 hours of sleep!! =D This week was really tiring... cause had dance4fund practice till very late and have to wake up like 6.30 everyday to go to school...
But thank god for giving me the energy to pull through this week =D Today was kinda hectic... had to chiong the stupid 500 word report on IDM industry, and the mindmap too.... >.< Luckily i managed to finish it in time thanks to some help from my friends (: thks guys! and girls too. =D
After finishing my report, the gang wanted to go watch 17 again, but i can't go cause got cell. But cell was fun! haha =D Played guitar hero on Sng's Xbox 360! =D Drum is sooo fun lor! haha Then after that went for dinner, and went home! Super heng!! i managed to catch the last train home! If not i duno how go home sia.... Thank God!!
And YAY finally tomorrow is a saturday! Saturdays are nice =D can sleep in! wahahahah!!!

Tired out...

2009-04-23T08:40:00.000-07:00

I'm super tired out from the 1st week of school already... Can't imagine 3 years! I'm already dozing off while writing this lol... zzZZZz
Anyway, today we all had fun at Dance4Fund!! WOoooo! Even though we didnt win, i'm sure everybody had fun =D I'll write till about here first... super tired! Gonna slp le

Sian-ded

2009-04-22T09:36:00.000-07:00

Today don't really feel like posting anything.... sighs.
Only 1 thing! I also got scared to death by my mac... i thought couldn't start up cause i dropped it earlier on today ):
But thank God for the mac OS guide book! =D In the end managed to start it up weee! Phew! =D

I feel help-less...

2009-04-21T09:20:00.000-07:00

I feel helpless when u don't tell me whats going on.
When i see u sad, i'm worried, and exasperated at myself for not being able to make u cheer up...
You promised that you would be a happier person (: I really hope that it would happen! and i really wish that you would tell me when things are not okay, or when you're feeling down.
I feel totally helpless and useless when i see you like that, and i can't do anything to do better...
So i wish that you would really just cheer up! (:

I can't do anything to help except worry if you don't allow me too ): so yeah... i hope that i can help you. (:
Either way, i'll always be there for you! (:

2nd Day of school!-Quite suay...

2009-04-21T09:01:00.000-07:00

Today was the 2nd day of school! And all i can say is... IS-ComT is super boring!!!!!

Its like secondary school all over again... sighs!

Anyway, i had to be in school by 8am today...(super early sia!!). I woke up abit late, and had to rush to hougang interchange to catch the shuttle bus. Reached there about 7.15, but the bus interval was at 7.30.... then in the end was late for like 10mins. But thankfully the teacher said i was just on time =D so nice sia she. But something very suay happened... On the way to Blk50 for IS class, i was walking down the slope outside makan place, then accidentally tripped and fell, and crashed my knee into the ground! Hurts like crazy!!! So i kinda limped abit to class... >.<

ComT was quite boring... we basically just learn english, and communication skills.

So anyway, ended class at 12+, then went to makan place for lunch! Till about 12.30 liddat, then we went to CC to look at the CCA fiesta =D I signed up for like water polo, NRA and in-line skating =P

Then after that i just went to makan place and slacked till 5+... super sian...

Waited for the rest to finish their afternoon IS classes, then we met up at makan place, and went for dance prac after that.

Today's dance prac was pretty cool =D We finalized our moves, and learnt to make facial expressions =D, >.<, =X, -.- etc... haha quite fun (:

Practiced till about 10+, and luckily my dad came to fetch me (: If not i don't know what time i would have reached home... Thanks dad! (: <3

To end off, today was a pretty cool day (: cept for IS =P haha. Super tired now >.<>

Soooo goodnight! (:

1st day of School!!

2009-04-20T08:46:00.000-07:00

Today was the first day of school! The start of poly life! So excited luh!!

Anyway, i woke up at 6am.... too early haha. abit kia su, but never mind lah who cares lol...

Went to secondary school to collect my O'lvl cert before going to NP. Today was quite okay... we spent the whole afternoon in class just trying to print 1 stupid piece of paper...

In the end Jingfang managed to do it first! And she taught everybody! =D thks Jingfang haha.

Then after that we went for our module briefing... was quite boring, but the lecturer very cute haha... The way he speaks damn funny luh!

Then after our module briefing, we went back to the DOT to buy our art materials, and slacked in class for awhile before going to makan place to grab something to eat before dance practice! Was super hungry sia! Cause whole day ate very little... stomach not feeling well >.<

So anyway at 6pm, we went to E garage and learnt the dance moves! Super cool luh! haha Louis's butt damn sexaye! xD the way he moves it. hehe

But i move also very sexy de lah! =D So anyway we practiced till about 9.30. Then i headed home... Finally found someone who can pei me take same bus home! haha My dear SB, Jingyin! haha

Yea.... and now super tired... tomorrow still need wake up at 5.30am!! ahhh Ok gonna sleep now! bye all =D

A weird day for me =DD

2009-04-19T08:48:00.000-07:00

Today was a really unexpected day for me :D

Went church in the morning, then met murphy and some of the guys and went out! We walked around raffles city looking at some laptop bags that mark wanted to buy...

But in the end also dont have so we went to Fu Nan!

At fu-nan damn fun sia! haha got so many free gaming consoles to play! In the end Li jun bought a new laptop bag haha. Stayed at fu-nan for awhile haha. Then went to esplanade to eat dinner! Dinner was shiok man! Ate makan sutra street there, or something... haha first time there! Well, we ate stingray,sambal sotong, bbq chicken wings and ORH LUAT!!! WOOLALA!! haha so anyway, after dinner we went to marina square and walk walk...

Here comes the exciting part!...

We were just looking around, at first went to Topman, then there the jeans li-ke nice, but then... hehe

So anyway, we went to zara! I was looking at some jeans... but the price was quite EX and the jeans like normal liddat... so i decided not to buy...

But murphy was looking at this pair of magnificent jeans! Which in the end was too small for him! haha. Then i just tired it on for fun! Who knew, i fell in love with it!!! wahahaha! So buy lor! Dont care luh! =D it cost $129.90! BUT WHO CARES! =DD i happy can le hahahaha!! i'm super high right now! so yea! so many !!!! haha =D

That's abt it for today! haha =D

A bad day...

2009-04-18T07:19:00.000-07:00

Today woke up at 10am... slacked at home till 3 then went to church.

Today wasn't a good day... After youth alive, we played captains ball.

Everything was going fine, then some of the adults joined us. Some guy i duno what's his name, supposedly a sunday school teacher...bah!

Anyway, while playing, i had the ball in my hand then he just smacked it away and snatched it! Supposed to be a foul... but they just said never mind! Sunday school teacher got the right to do that! What bullshit sia... sommore his face like super chao bin. Wah, I was super pissed already that he did that! Then they still say never mind....

So my mood for the whole day was gone lor.... then played soccer after that. Got rammed by the ball twice... 1 in the face, the other at the legs! So anyway just bathed and went to eat dinner after that... then went home.

All i can say is.... Today was a really bad day!

2nd day of induction!!!

2009-04-17T09:28:00.000-07:00

Today was the 2nd day of ICT induction!!!

Woke up at 6.30am... but in the end i came a little late =P

Today was soooo much fun!!! We met our mentors! And all i can say is that Mr Melvin Tan, Ur Cool! haha xD

Then after that we played games. Although the human soccer wasn't much fun, but the water bomb was super fun!! =D Anyhow threw water bombs luh haha! Then we had a SB v.s Freshies match! haha super fun! Darren chose targets for us to bomb! =D

In the end everybody was soaking wet!! Lucky we had wet games! the sun was scorching hot man!... Well after that we just headed back to the LT and had some debriefing...

BUT, the fun hasn't ended yet!! 3DO ppl met up after induction and we went to vivo for dinner!! We all just ta pao-ed to the rooftop and ate there. Then after that we chilled and played some games haha =D

Too bad some of them left early luh... We were all high after that, played catching and something similar to it! haha

OH! and the craziest part is this! we did almost all the cheers at the rooftop! in front of public! haha =D all just super high luh!

Yeap... then it was getting late, so we just all headed on home! (:

The answer...

2009-04-17T09:15:00.000-07:00

If u must know? Yes i'm serious. I don't joke about such things...

I myself don't know why i feel this way, but i dunno... when i read your blog, i felt something that somehow compelled me to want to relieve you of your pain and sadness, or if not at least be a confidante. On the outside you seem happy and full of joy, except for the times when u seem a little moody. But then when u go back and pour out your feelings on your blog, its like a totally different person.

It pains me to see my friend like this... Truth be told, ever since i saw your blog, i've been praying for you every night. And i was hoping to see a post that speaks of happiness the next time. But somehow that doesn't seem to be happening.

Bottom line, i'm really worried for u. So yea that's just about it. 1 sms can't possibly say what i want to say, and i'm not sure i've the courage to call you and tell you all this. So yea i'm putting it up here...

To my dear friend who is feeling down...

2009-04-16T09:18:00.000-07:00

To my dear friend, whom i shall not reveal as yet...

You ask for strength, you ask for someone who will always be there for you, someone who will give his life for you no matter what, someone whom you can confide in, and someone who will love you unconditionally.

There is only 1 person who is capable of these, and that is Jesus Christ! Though you're not a christian, i sincerely hope you will come to know Christ! (:

That you will be able to experience his never ending love. It may seem that I'm just speaking the regular nonsense that you've heard many people preach about before... But I'm really speaking from my heart and i care about you! Therefore i would like to share with you something that costs you nothing but have lots to gain from it (:

It may seem too good to be true, that someone like that could exist! But its definitely true! All it takes is for u to believe! You may think, how could God know what I'm going through!? He's God! He doesn't suffer at all...

But, God DOES know what you're going through! He came to earth through his son Jesus Christ. And has suffered pain that we could never imagine! Being cast out by the people that he loves so dearly!, and being betrayed by one of his disciples whom is supposed to be the closest to Christ. And of course, he died for us! So that we may not be condemned in the pits of hell...

If only you would just believe and acknowledge him as your personal lord and saviour! I dare say all this! cause i myself have experienced his love and mercy! And it has changed my life totally! I've become a better person than before and I've made great friends whom i know i can trust my life with!

I know this may sound preachy, but I'm speaking from the bottom of my heart! and i really sincerely hope that one day you will come to know and accept Christ!

John 3:16- For God so loved the world that He gave His only son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life!

1st day of induction!!

2009-04-16T08:15:00.000-07:00

Today was the first day of induction! woke up at 6am to prepare breakfast for my dear friends man! But i think that it was worth it (:

Seeing their happy faces after eating my cooking =D

Well.. anyway, so i went to school for induction. And i met my classmates for this year! They're quite a quiet bunch =P But i think we'll get high tmr! haha Cause got 3DO ppl!! 3DO ~OIE~ But thankfully almost half the class are from 3DO! so we're quite high already haha! And kudos to our 1 man/girl show SB~Jing Yin!

So we played icebreaker games and some treasure hunting games... It was a good opportunity to bond with my classmates haha =D

So anyway, after induction ended, some of us 3DO freshies met up with the Gl's and Gm's and we played basketball! =D It was fun but tiring! So long nvr play basketball already haha =P

Then after basketball we went for dinner at bukit timah plaza. Ate KFC! So sad they didn't have crispy thighs lor ): But oh well... haha it was still nice =D

Then after dinner some of us went our separate ways home. At first i was supposed to go home with Tom Yum and jerry... but they decided to take a long way home... (cuz of someone's GF!!)

But somehow, i decided to call my friend and she just ended sch! haha so we took the same bus home! Thks ariana for getting of the bus for me =D

Yups then after that jiu hui jia le lor... =D

End of induction day 1!!! (:

My first blog!!

2009-04-15T02:03:00.000-07:00

My first time ever doing a blog! Can't believe it! Haha. Anyway, this month has been a great month! New school! New friends! And New resolutions!!

Thanks to 3DO, i've managed to make lots of new friends! And i really thank God for that! =D After attending SERVE this year, i believed that my life has really changed. The way i look at life and how to manage obstacles that may come my way.

Well anyway... i guess i'll write till here... don't know what else to write haha =D